Top 5 TV Shows CURRENTLY Airing

Recently I have noticed that my DVR has been recording an unusual amount of series week to week. Now, the DVR technology may be the cause of me watching so many shows, but usually I am watching 2 or 3 shows a year week to week and the rest of the shows I watch are either completed or I am catching up. With many networks summer schedule just starting or having started a few weeks ago, I feel like this would be a good time to make this list.

Now please remember, this is a list of shows currently ongoing. And by currently ongoing, I mean shows that are NOT completed as of July 21, 2011. If you choose to ignore this sentence and tell me in the comments about your favorite show of all time OR tell me about a show that has not been created yet, you will be verbally destroyed in the comments.

So, here are MY 5 favorite ongoing shows on television today:

5. Game of Thrones

For whatever reason, I was not too keen on watching this show. I thought it would just be a series about Boromir (if you dont get that reference, stop reading and watch all 3 LOTR movies now… even though hes only in the first one.) First of all, I was wrong as hell, but I decided to ignore this as it was airing on HBO, but then I heard a million good things about it from a million different people and not a single bad review. I waited until the season was over and decided to watch it. It took me 3 days to finish the season. HOLY SHIT. This show is brilliant. The characters are amazing, and suck you in. There aren’t many shows where I am yelling at a character on tv calling him a “fucking cunt” and actually mean it. Also, Peter Dinklage deserves an Emmy for his portrayal of Tyrion Lannister. The plot to this show is really the best thing about it, and there is a great twist/cliffhanger at the end of the final episode. I CAN NOT WAIT until season 2 starts. Oh, and a quick word of wisdom: If a show/movie has its own map, you should watch it.

4. Entourage

This is a little bit of nostalgia for me, as the final season starts this Sunday, but this show has to be here. For 8 years Entourage has changed HBO and television for that matter. I don’t need to explain what this show is about or why it is so good, since everyone knows, but there is no other show like it anywhere on television, and won’t be for years to come. The cast is amazing, and I am completely engrossed in the character’s lives. I am so excited and sad at the same time to see how it ends. I will probably have tears during the final episode, or during the movie they are going to make after?? We will find out. I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL SUNDAY!

3. South Park

I kind of feel bad putting this at number 3. Especially after 15 years of brilliance. But week after week South Park cracks us up while making fun of everyone. The newer seasons have been hilariously relevant to world news and I am so happy that they just got renewed until 2013. Luckily Parker and Stone have said repeatedly that they love South Park and don’t have plans to stop making shows. Those 2 are the funniest people on the planet as far as I am concerned, and South Park has been MUST SEE TV for years. If you aren’t tuning in, I can’t even explain to you what you are missing.

2. Eureka

Wait what? Yes. Eureka, the most underrated show on television. It took me 2 weeks to finish the first 3 seasons of this show. It’s that good. The story of Jack Carter, an average man who becomes the Sheriff of Eureka, a town full of the world smartest scientists and super geniuses. Every episode a few experiments go wrong and threaten to destroy the town and/or the world. Jack, with the help of the scientists, help to save the town. There is a lot of science talk/jargon in this show, however, thanks to the presence of Jack, we are able to understand what it going on. It is one of the more well written shows on television today, and the concept will draw you in. The characters will keep you there. Eureka is my vote for best cast of characters on television today. There is not one single character who annoys me, or that I wish was not in the show, and I LOVE Jack Carter. He is one of my favorite characters of all time. This show is like an underground nightclub in New York that only a hand full of people know about, but is the place to be every night.

1. Dexter

Anyone who knows me, had to know this was going to be number 1. But how could it not be?? Dexter Morgan is THE best character on television today and one of the greatest characters EVER. Michael C. Hall is nominated every year for an Emmy, and its a travesty that he doesn’t win every year for his portrayal of Dexter. This show is more than just Darkly Dreaming Dexter though. The story lines will keep you on the edge of your seat and you do not know suspense until you watch a full season of Dexter. Season after season we are treated with a new villain who not only keeps us guessing, but can shake the foundation of the show. Like Trinity, who was the cause of one of the biggest twists in television history. Dexter Daringly Destroys our idea of a “hero” however you have no choice but to love him. Dexter is Delicious, and you find yourself not being able to wait another week for Dearly Devoted Dexter. Delightfully dark, Dexter Doesn’t Disappoint and Digs Deeper into our sense of justice while Delving Dastardly into the ever so engrossing world of serial killing. Oh, and LOOK AT THIS TEASER FOR SEASON 6 AHHHHHHH:

Goosebumps…. cant… fucking…. wait…..

Well that’s my list. I’m off to play some golf and drink some beer.

Until Next Time, OBALLER.

Happy 81st Birthday Clint Eastwood!

Clint Eastwood is not only the most badass actor of all time, but he also has had the longest streak of excellence of any actor/director of all time. And hes still going. Here’s to you Clint:

Until Next Time, OBALLER.

Living In The World Today – Episode 1

New segment, check it.

Until Next Time, OBALLER.

Wake Up & Smell The Bullshit Episode 1: Youtube

Here it is:

also… visit the site: http://www.asscstudios.net/asscstudios/

Wake Up and Smell The Bullshit: Episode 1

Tonight the first episode of Wake Up and Smell The Bullshit will be airing at 9 PM. Here is the link:

Wake Up and Smell the Bullshit Live Stream

I am not sure how long the episode is going to be, however in a couple of days it will be condensed into a 15 minute video (cutting out all of the extra stuff).,…. I will just be adding that here.

Until Next Time, OBALLER.

Sucker Punch Review

Yes, Sucker Punch. The movie men want to see because there are hot chicks with machine guns, and the movie women want to see because we finally get a break from hollywood’s homosocial trend of the past 5 yes and get some GIRL POWER. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now make me a sandwich.

The reason I wanted to see this movie so badly was because it reminded me of an anime…. Oh and Zach Snyder has been one of the best directors of the past decade. So my fellow ISSSer Eye Sedso and myself went down to the theater to catch it.

Now pay special note to the headline there “You will be unprepared.” Because the first scene of this movie will slap you in the face, wake you up, and say “Hey, dickhole. This is NOT some mindless action movie for you to fantasize about. THIS SHIT IS REAL.”

In the open scene of the movie, we find the main character, Baby Doll (Emily Browning), in her house. Her parents are dead (cause: unknown) and her stepfather seems rather happy about it. Some time later, the stepfather is trying to rape Babydoll’s younger sister, so she gets a gun and tries to shoot him. Instead, she misses and kills her younger sister. This causes the stepfather to drag Babydoll to the “Lennox House for the Mentally Insane.”

Oh and by the way, the entire first scene has this haunting cover playing the whole time:

Typical Zach Snyder opening scene awesomeness. ALSO. You may notice that Emily Browning sings that song. Not only was she the main character, she sings like 3 or 4 songs on the soundtrack. Which makes me like her even more.

Now, when Babydoll first enters the Asylum, the orderly tells her stepfather that a doctor (Jon Hamm) will be coming do perform lobotomy’s in 5 days, and the Stepfather bribes the orderly with money to get Babydoll one. There is a short montage in which basically the whole movie plot it shown up to Babydoll about to get a lobotomy. But right at this point we flash back 5 days to when she arrives at the institute, and this time, we see that Babydoll has retreated into a fantasy world where she has arrived as a virgin at a brothel owned by the mob.

Two talking points here:

1. HOW FUCKED UP IS A LOBOTOMY?!?!?!? SERIOUSLY??? The fact that this was EVER allowed as a legitimate medical procedure is absolutely fucked up.

2. If I were to compare this movie to anything. I would say this is what you get if you take Pan’s Labyrinth (a girl creating a fantasy world to escape reality) and Inception (multiple levels of fantasy) and have it directed by Zach Snyder (think of how awesome Watchmen and 300 were).

Now, you may be asking “OBALLER, where is all the crazy awesome action that I keep seeing in trailers???.”

Oh I’ll feed you baby birds. While in this fantasy, all of the girls in the brothel are forced to dance (duh) for their clients. The first time Babydoll is forced to dance is for practice in front of all the other girls and their dance instructor (Carla Gugino, who is also the main doctor in real life). Instead of showing Babydoll dance, we go into her mind and into the fantasy she has created to cope with this. In this first fantasy, we meet the Wise Man, who gives her weapons and tells her that she needs 5 items in order to escape. For the rest of the movie, Babydoll is forced to dance to distract people in order to get one of the items, and during the dance we see another awesome action/fantasy sequence.

3 Things I liked:

1. The acting: These girls can ACT. Each of them played their part perfectly, and Carla Gugino was fantastic yet AGAIN. She really needs to be in more movies.

2. Story telling: This is a very simple story at it’s core. However, it is told in the most exciting possible way. Well done Zach Snyder (oh and his directing was AMAZING as per usual).

3. THE SOUNDTRACK: This may be my favorite part of this film. I went home after and Immediately downloaded it. My favorite song? This cover of “White Rabbit”:

Honestly, a song about Alice in Wonderland fits this movie PERFECTLY, nevermind how awesome they made it. And it fits into one of the action/fantasy sequences AWESOMELY.

3 Things I didn’t Like:

1. Amber was pretty much a useless character. All she did was fly or drive stuff in the fantasies, which made me bored with her.

2. I understand this is a girl power movie…. HOWEVER. The only hot guy in the film, Jon Hamm, was only in it for like 5 minutes. Zach Snyder apparently said “300 had enough male eye candy for 2 movies of mine put together.”

3. Sucker Punch was beaten in the box office by “Diary of a Wimpy Kid.” I am completely offended by this.

Final Thoughts/Grade:

CLEARLY, I loved this movie. Which is not surprising, because I pretty much only see movies in the theaters unless I know I’m gonna like it. Shit is getting expensive. However, there is something in this movie for everyone. Kick ass action, great soundtrack, and a compelling story with good actors.

Overall, I give this movie an 8/10. Very enjoying.

Until Next Time, OBALLER.

Shaolin vs. Wu-Tang Album Review

If you aren’t familiar with the 8 Diagrams Controversy, go read up on it. I am not here to tell you about it, however, I will tell you that the controversy is the reason why this album was created, and why you will notice that the RZA did not produce a single song on this album.

Now, Raekwon just put out Only Built 4 Cuban Linx… Part II and it was amazing. So hopefully he can keep it up for this album….

1. Shaolin vs. Wu-Tang (10)

Just watch the video

Nuff Said.

2. Every Soldier in the Hood (7)

Solid. Rae does his thing and Method Man puts in a good verse. Nothing wrong with this song at all, but nothing too special about it.

3. Silver Rings (9)

The high rating is due to the fact that this beat is awesome and the song is short and sweet. I think if it was over 2 minutes it probably would get stale. Some songs are like that. The Ghosface + Rae combo makes its first appearance on the album which def helps since they both kill it.

Side note, Rae promises OB4CL3 coming…..

4. Chop Chop Ninja (10)

At first I didn’t like the Estelle chorus. But after a few listens and catching myself singing it around the house I have realized it is awesome. Rae kills his verses and the Rebel INS puts in a good verse of his own. I absolutely LOVE this beat. The kung fu kicking and punching sounds are integrated into the beat, which, of course, gives any Wu-stan great joy.

This also reminds me…. There are a shit load of Kung-Fu samples on this album and I haven’t been talking about them. More about that in the end I guess.

5. Butter Knives (8)

The first single off the album. I am having no luck finding where this kung-fu sample is from, but I really like the beat. Rae is pretty much like his old self on this track, which is nasty.

6. Snake Pond (10)

I FUCKING LOVE THIS BEAT. This song is crazy. It consists of a nasty Asian sounding beat and Rae in story telling mode (which we all know is insane).

7. Crane Style (9)

Another awesome Asian sounding beat, mixed with a little African drums. Busta Rhymes actually puts in a good verse, which is surprising to me, because recently he has been garbage. Regardless, keeping up the Asian beats and kung-fu samples will make this an amazing album.

8. Rock ‘N Roll (8)

The hip-hop purist in me REALLY wants me to give this song a don’t bother. It’s clearly an attempt to get on the radio. I mean autotune in the chorus and Jim Jones? However, it’s actually a pretty catchy chorus, and Ghostface murders this beat. Jim Jones isn’t bad at all, but I really don’t care for him.

9. Rich & Black (9)

The instrumental and quote make me pretty confident that this song was left over from Nas’ latest album “Untitled.” Luckily I loved that album, and I love this song. Nas abuses this beat (it sounds like it was meant for him anyways) and Rae def holds his own. I REALLY wish that Nas was able to appear on OB4CL2, and I am assuming that he will appear on the third one. I am also sure that everyone who knows me had to know I would love this song just by seeing that its Raekwon Feat. Nas.

10. From the Hills (9)

Featuring Method Man and Raheem DeVaughn, this song is so chill. I could listen to this beat all day and just relax. Method Man also has a couple of hilarious lines, including the use of the word “Niggeritis” and “if you are what you eat and eat pussy you a cannibal.” Solid Indeed.

11. Last Trip to Scotland (7)

Well, Lloyd Banks helps prove that he is the only member of G-Unit that has an ounce of talent and holds his own. Rae throws down some storytelling on a decent beat. Overall, a pretty good song.

12. Ferry Boat Killaz (6)

Apparently killing people on Ferry boats is a more serious problem then I thought. I’ve been on some ferry boats in my time, and I don’t remember even being threatened. I also was on a ferry boat and saw the slums of Shaolin. Luckily there were no ferry boat killaz on that endeavor. Most likely because The Alchemist wasn’t there, because if he was, I would prolly turn into a ferry boat killa, because this beat sucks (GREAT segue).

13. Dart School (6)

This song bores me, but is fine for background music. NEXT.

14. Molasses (6)

Rick Ross?? REALLY??? Luckily Rae and Ghost make this song tolerable. However, I’m still bored.

15. The Scroll (8)

I am no longer bored. I will tell you that much. Also, that whistle or whatever in the background sounds like it is from Avatar (the show, not the POS live action movie) but I can not confirm this. Regardless, LOVING the beat and more storytelling from the Chef. Exactly what the doctor ordered (how much do you hate that I just used that phrase? UGH its brutal).

16. Masters of Our Fate (7)

A heaver, deeper instrumental and a great verse from Raekwon and a very respectable verse from Black Thought. Honestly I have no idea who he is, but hes pretty good. Not the strongest song ever, but good.

17. Wu Chant (Outro)

If you ever wondered what goes on in my head just listen to this outro. People chanting “WU TANG WU TANG” and the music from one of the greatest scenes in movie history. From one of the greatest movies of ALL TIME (#4 on the IMDB list).

The Ecstasy of Gold.

Embedding disabled by request, but if you don’t click that link you are an asshole and you should probably movie to Russia.

Also, how GREAT is the soundtrack from The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly??? Seriously amazing.

Final Thoughts:

I miss the RZA. Any member of the Wu is at their best with RZA producing, however, there are a lot of awesome kung fu samples and kung fu beats to make the production on this album good. The story telling of Raekwon simply can not be beat (except by Slick Rick) and he put together a fantastic album. Obviously this is not as good as his OB4CL albums, but this is my third favorite Raekwon album. Assuming that all Wu-Stan’s already own this album, I recommend a purchase to all hip hop heads anywhere. This is good shit, and Rae seems to be the only member of Wu that is doing some good shit recently. Now, I simply CAN NOT WAIT for Liquid Swords 2. Speaking of the GZA, he was left off this album (which pisses me off) however, he IS on an iTunes bonus track. So let me review them as I listen to them for the first times ever.

18. Wu Crime (10)

WHY WAS THIS NOT ON THE ALBUM?!?!?! FUCK. GZA, Rae, and Killah Priest all murder their verses and the beat is awesome. Fuck you iTunes, looks like I will have to hunt this shit down.

19. Your World & My World (6)

Featuring Havoc. Whatever. I am going to sleep.

Until Next Time, OBALLER.

My Top 10 Favorite Albums Of All Time

Now into my top 10 favorite albums of all time in any genre…. And yes its an opinion.. so you WILL disagree.. deal with it. Now these albums are not necessarily from my top 10 favorite artists of all time, and a lot of my favorite songs are not in these albums, but these albums are the 10 that I listen to the most… and I mean all the way through, not skipping a song. So here it is:

10. Michael Jackson – Thriller

ummm… Do I even have to explain this? Maybe just why it’s only number 10. Highest selling album of all time… umm.. Thriller, Beat It, Billie Jean, The Girl is mine… Yea… If you don’t like this album I never want to talk to you again. R.I.P the most talented musician ever.

Favorite Song – Billie Jean

9. Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords

Yes, my favorite FoTC album. These songs are all from season one, but you don’t have to watch the show to get these songs. All the songs on this album they used in their stand-up for years, and perfected them.. It’s a comedy album, and not a soundtrack album. These guys are friggin hilarious. And honestly this album can be listened to no matter what mood you’re in because they are extremely talented musicians. It’s almost insulting to call them a comedy music act because we all know that most people who do comedic music are DREADFUL, but these guys are musicians first and comedians second, you will be REALLY impressed because of how good their songs really are. I highly suggest this to everybody.

Favorite Song – Leggy Blonde (feat. Rhys Darby)

8. U2- The Joshua Tree

Honestly just the fact that this is U2′s best album should be enough of a description for you, the fact that it has the highest critical reception and legacy plus the awards should tell you about it, the fact that it has some of the greatest rock songs of its era should probably be good enough for you, so instead of telling you about all that stuff (in the longest sentence ever) I will just tell you that if you haven’t heard this album you are an asshole and need to go listen to it NOW!

Favorite Song – Where The Streets Have No Name

7. Raekwon – Only Built 4 Cuban Linx

If you want a more in depth lookRefuse to Come Wack’s review. But this album is a must buy for anyone who listens hip-hop. See the problem today is that there are so many dickfore’s out there who claim to be hip-hop fan’s because they listen to all those idiots who actually make pop music (Lil Wayne, T.I., Jeezy, <insert talentless person here>) and they have NEVER heard of this album…. Are you kidding me?? This is one of the top 5 hip-hop albums of all time and that’s not even an opinion, it’s a proven fact. It’s been awarded a 5 Mic rating, been voted top 5 on millions of lists, and everyone who lived in the 90′s knows its a classic. People should learn the history of hip-hop, if they claim to love the music. This album is perfect, and actually has to be listened to straight through, because its a story. Also, if you don’t know who Raekwon is… hes in Wu-Tang.. which means that there are Wu members on almost every song. It also was produced by RZA, and is the best produced hip-hop album ever.

Favorite Song – Tie between Verbal Intercourse and Guillotine (Swordz)…. I REALLY can’t decide.

6. Wu-Tang Clan – Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)

Yea, every single song on this album is LEGEN…. wait for it….. DARY. Wu-Tang is hands down the best rap group of all time. It’s really not even a contest. Almost every song on this album was a single and you can find AWESOME music videos for. C.R.E.A.M., Method Man, Can It Be All So Simple, Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nuttin To F’ Wit, Shame on a Nigga, Protect Ya Neck…. Also RZA’s production CAN NOT be beat. Seriously… this is truly one of the greatest hip hop albums ever.

Favorite Song – Da Mystery of Chessboxin’

5. Hootie & The Blowfish – Cracked Rear View

Who doesn’t love Hootie? No one I wish to associate with. This is one of the highest selling albums of all time (its gone platinum 16 times), and rightfully so. It’s flawless. Hannah Jane, Hold My Hand, Only Wanna Be With You, Time, Let Her Cry, Drowning, and I’ll stop before I name all of them. Yea, you love this album even if you don’t know it yet, because I know you love at least 3 songs in that short list.

Favorite Song – Only Wanna Be With You

4. Alanis Morissette – Jagged Little Pill

This album is actually the reason why I decided to make this list. My father has it, but when I copied all the songs to my iTunes I thought, WOW every song on this album is AMAZING. AND I pretty much knew all of them as hits in the 90′s. Alanis Morissette is my favorite female artist of all time, hands down, and this is her best album. It had 5 huge hits, You Oughta Know, Ironic, You Learn, Hand In My Pocket, and Head Over Feet…. and yes all of those songs are on one album, along with a few more lesser known but still very good songs.

Favorite Song – You Oughta Know

EDIT: just gonna throw a credential out there…. One of only 4 albums to remain in the top 10 for OVER A YEAR. Since I know your wondering, the other 3 are Thriller by Michael Jackson, Falling Into You by Celine Dion, and Fearless by Taylor Swift. This album also was on the 500 greatest albums of all time, etc etc. ITS GREAT!

3. DangerDOOM – The Mouse and The Mask

I did do a review on this album… but I’m too lazy to link to it. DangerDOOM consists of emcee MF DOOM, and producer Danger Mouse. If you know anything about hip-hop, those 2 are legends in their respective fields. DOOM over Danger’s beats was a dream come true for so many hip-hop heads. This album is pure genius. Oh, and DOOM doesn’t swear in the entire album…. how many hip-hop/rap albums can you say that about??? Anyways, I love every single song on this album, and have listened to it straight through countless times. If you want to hear a truly one of a kind album, listen to this, you will love it. Nasty Nasty beats, almost unreal rhymes and a lot of humor on the album.

Favorite Song – Sofa King

2. GZA – Liquid Swords

This would be the best hip hop album of all time if #1 wasn’t actually perfect. However, Liquid Swords is FUCKING AMAZING. I can’t even explain in a paragraph how amazing this album is. It’s 13 songs, and only 2 of them aren’t 10′s…. they are 9′s. Also, the chemistry between GZA’s lryics and RZA’s production is OFF THE CHARTS. I have listened to this album straight through 50 times in the past year at least. I LOVE this album, and I want to give it number 1, but it would go against my religion to do so. Also, picking a favorite song will be impossible because there are 11 songs that are 10s.

Favorite Song: Living In The World Today

1. Nas – Illmatic

I thought REALLY hard about this one, but realized it just had to be. I can’t have a list with hip hop on it without Illmatic being number 1. I mean its a fact, its been written in stone, that this is the greatest hip-hop album of all time. Rolling Stones put it in their top 500 albums list, its been voted of of the most influential hip hop albums, etc etc. But It’s number one on my list because I have listened to it straight through 100′s of times effortlessly. I mean every single song on this album is amazing. This album came out in 94, and I don’t now, and probably will never consider it old school… It’s just timeless. No one will ever put out an album with better lyricism than this, its actually impossible. I can’t explain to you how great this album is, you have to listen to it yourself.

Favorite Song – The World Is Yours

Well, there it is, and here I go because I’m tired. However, you can leave your top 10 in the comments if you want, I don’t care…. or just agree with how awesome I am.

Until Next Time, OBALLER.

Swordfish Review

Netflix has really been letting me watch some awful movies lately. This one however had so much promise:

A movie about hacker’s starring Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Halle Berry, and Don Cheadle. The title is also a reference to the greatest password ever. If you are not a big enough nerd to understand this reference google it, I don’t care.

I’m really just gonna jump into this review because I’ve been wanting to get this shit off of my chest like a breast reduction.

Plot:

Hugh Jackman stars as a legendary hacker, with the classic hacker movie cliche of hacking into some ridiculous FBI program many years before the movie. Halle Berry wears a lot of slutty clothes and apparently knows everything about Hugh Jackman’s life, including how he got busted by the Feds and that he is no longer allowed to see his daughter. Halle Recruits Jackman to work for her boss, John Travolta, who wants him to hack into a government fund and steal about $9.5 Billion from them. There is a bunch of random violence and sex scenes that do not really fit into the plot, but they are there if you are into that sort of thing.

What I Liked:

• The world found out Halle Berry’s price.  If you pay her $500,000 she will take her top off on camera and tell you it’s because she “wants to get over her fear of being naked on screen.”
• Hugh Jackman is REALLY hot.

What I Didn’t Like:

• HOW MANY FUCKING PLOT HOLES CAN YOU HAVE IN ONE MOVIE?? SERIOUSLY.  WHO WROTE THIS SHIT???  The FBI had surveillance ALL around John Travolta’s house, and they didn’t think to tap his phone to see who he was talking to?  Are you kidding me? Isn’t that like FBI 101?  To tap the phone?
• RANDOM VIOLENCE.  There is one scene where Hugh Jackman and John Travolta are in a car, and random people start shooting at them in the middle of a city.  This car chase goes on for a pretty long time with a LOT of guns being fired and a lot of damage to the city.  Not at one point during this WHOLE scene is there ONE FUCKING COP ON THE ROAD!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???  How is that even possible?? Has The Matrix taught you NOTHING?  Also, at the end of this scene, it is not even explained who these people are, why they are shooting, and why John Travolta says “Just go” and he stays behind…… WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS SCENE??  I have a HUGE problem with this scene because it makes ZERO sense and has nothing to do with the movie.
• These actors do not make convincing hackers at all.  First of all, they are way too attractive.  Second of all, their use of technical jargon is the most forced sounding thing I have ever heard.  It is completely obvious that none of the actors knew what they were talking about, and neither do the writer’s for that matter.
• It’s so hard to make a movie about hacker’s realistic AND cool, but this was one of the worst.  It wasn’t realistic OR cool.
• Humor that wasn’t funny.  Stop trying and let Travolta improv, he is a funny dude, but not here.
• Travolta’s character randomly is the best magician ever??  REALLY?  I don’t care if this is a spoiler or not…. REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  Just throw that bullshit in there and suddenly that ending is ok?? Fuck off.

 

Final Thoughts/Grade:

This movie was amazing……… So amazing that you should never watch it, not even once. “I watch movies so you don’t have to” is completely true on this movie. This movie just makes me furious. IT IS FUCKING AWFUL. It’s not even the good type of awful like “Megashark vs. Giant Octapus” or “Mortal Kombat” this is a movie that takes itself WAY to seriously, has violence because it feels like it needs random violence, and took an amazing cast and shit on all of their heads.

Wow, I really need to review a good movie tomorrow, because this was a very angry post.

GRADE: 3/10

Yea, It was that bad.

Until Next Time, OBALLER.

Krull Movie Review

Well, this is a random one. Even for me. No academy award nominations, no critical acclaim, no cult following, and in fact if it wasn’t for my random kick of 80′s sci-fi I doubt I would have even found this movie. I honestly was bored one day flipping through netflix on my xbox and thought to myself “Well that poster looks kind of cool… and its a science fiction? Good enough for me.”

Krull was directed by Peter Yates (Bullitt.. and pretty much nothing else) and released in 1983. The film stars a bunch of people you have never heard of except a very young Liam Neeson, who we all know possesses a very special set of skills.

The film is a heroic fantasy following Prince Colwyn, who must go on a journey to rescue his wife-to-be from a monster who has invaded the planet. This movie would actually be a pretty good video game and reminds me a lot of Final Fantasy. ACTUALLY its probably even more similar to Super Mario RPG, one of the most underrated games of all time. And the more I think about it the more I realize how similar the plots actually are.

However, along the way to finding his love, he must travel all over planet Krull and meets people along the way that join and help him with his journey. I think the word cheesy can be used to describe much of this film, HOWEVER, its actually a pretty cool fantasy film.

What I Liked:

• There are a lot of good characters.  I mean yes the prince is pretty much your typical handsome/clean type but the supporting cast is what really carried this film.  Also Ergo provided great comic relief.
• THE SCORE- AMAZING.  The music in this movie was actually THE best part.  It set the tone for the entire movie and really is the perfect fantasy soundtrack.  I really can’t say enough good things about the score to this film.
• It was kind of cheesy and I like that in a movie.  Actual movie critics have tore this movie apart… but honestly who doesn’t love bad movies??
• Typical fantasy quest plot, however, its all about the journey, character bonding, and character development.
• This is going to sound dumb but its good clean fun.  Honestly this is a movie that anyone one of any age can watch and have a good time.
• Set production.  Seems like this should be special effects, but its not.  The special effects were not that great… but the building of the sets was amazing.  The landscape was awesome and the Black Fortress was very well done

What I Didn’t Like:

• This movie was so long.  Two hours is kind of a long time for a movie like this.  I mean I know its a journey but it’s not Lord of The Rings.  I think 90 minutes would have been a good amount.
• Acting.  Yea there were a couple of good actors…. but there also were some bad ones.  The girl who played the Princess was so bad they actually had to have her lines dubbed during editing by a completely different actress.  That’s pretty bad.
• The special effects were kind of retarded.  Yea it kind of adds to the charm of this film, however I think it would be better if the only special effects were focused on the monster.  Speaking of the monster….
• The Monster.  They could have done more, making him more hated, and really done better job making a villian out of him.
• Some scenes were boring.  This kind of ties in with the length of the film, but there were def some scenes that could has been cut, or at least shortened.  I mean the glass spider was an innovative touch, but that scene could have been 10 minutes shorter.

 

Final Thoughts/Grade:

Considering this a B-Film its actually one of the better one. There is nothing that could make me not like this film. Although it is far from perfect. This film is PERFECT for a snow day or a rainy day when you feel like ordering a pizza and watching a cheesy fantasy film. Also, if you are like me and LOVE spotting plot hole and misses you will have so much fun with this movie. Just to give you one example, the entire crew spends about 5 minutes in quicksand, and literally 1 minute later they are all perfectly clean and dry. I won’t ruin the rest of them for you but there are A LOT.

Grade: 6/10

Watch this movie, but trust me, on a rainy day when you have nothing to you, and you will actually love it. Although I wouldn’t recommend inviting a bunch of people over on a friday night to watch it. It may not go over well.

Tomorrow, we go even further back in time to a sci-fi movie from the 70′s. LOVE IT.

Until Next Time, OBALLER.